Brian Posted March 6, 2023 Report Share Posted March 6, 2023 Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Wind down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Wind up window. 7. Drive off. PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse back the required distance to align car window with cash machine. 3. Re-start the stalled engine. 4. Wind down the window. 5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 6. Turn the radio down. 7. Attempt to insert card into machine. 8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 9. Insert card. 10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned "Marks & Spencers" Charge card and insert correct Cash Point card 11. Remove Cash Point Card 12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up. 13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 14. Enter PIN. 15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN. 16. Enter amount of cash required. 17. Check make-up in rear view mirror. 18. Retrieve cash and receipt. 19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 20. Place receipt in back of cheque book. 21. Re-check make-up. 22. Drive forward 2 meters. 23. Reverse back to cash machine. 24. Retrieve card. 25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 26. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 28. Release hand brake. 2006holmwood, gaffa, Jim and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gummage Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 Looks rather like the procedure adopted by me when I tried to pay for Grahams parking at the Vitality the other night…… 1..read sign 2…let the reality set in that you can’t use cash 3….or a card! 4…photograph the fuzzy square thingy 5…try to down load the justpark app 6…. Get asked for a password that I otherwise never use 7…..ring wife, does she remember it, no 8…ring son 9….get him to go to the office and find said secrets book 10.. enter password 11.. get congratulated 12..asked for phone number.. 13..and email address. 14. get asked for location code 15,..enter how many hours I want to stay 16…enter the 16 digit card code…in the dark 17.. find my glasses 18..do I want to park wu56 ….. the farm truck? 19…no 20….the wife’s car? Spooky how it knew them! 21….no 22…register a new vehicle 23..yes hurray 24..repeat item 12 25…repeat item 13 26….repeat item 14 27…get told I’m trying to download the same app twice 28..app freezes 29….gave up the rest of the evening went rather well we felt! Stuie, Greg, Jim and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 HOW much trouble are you in? 😄😄 You forgot to mention the damage to the front seat from the socket set & welding kit as they empty their handbags. Greg 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 Glad I wasn't the only one !!!!! fisherman1055, Gummage and Stuie 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingfisher 126 Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 I paid twice as I hit the pay button but left my reg number in, when I got back to the car Leanne said, did I put her car reg in as she was driving her car!!! 😤😤 Stuie, Gummage, fisherman1055 and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mal Thomas Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 8 hours ago, Gummage said: Looks rather like the procedure adopted by me when I tried to pay for Grahams parking at the Vitality the other night…… 1..read sign 2…let the reality set in that you can’t use cash 3….or a card! 4…photograph the fuzzy square thingy 5…try to down load the justpark app 6…. Get asked for a password that I otherwise never use 7…..ring wife, does she remember it, no 8…ring son 9….get him to go to the office and find said secrets book 10.. enter password 11.. get congratulated 12..asked for phone number.. 13..and email address. 14. get asked for location code 15,..enter how many hours I want to stay 16…enter the 16 digit card code…in the dark 17.. find my glasses 18..do I want to park wu56 ….. the farm truck? 19…no 20….the wife’s car? Spooky how it knew them! 21….no 22…register a new vehicle 23..yes hurray 24..repeat item 12 25…repeat item 13 26….repeat item 14 27…get told I’m trying to download the same app twice 28..app freezes 29….gave up the rest of the evening went rather well we felt! Excellent recall it must have had a lasting effect, hope your evening went well and thanks for doing the journey much appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mal Thomas Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 19 hours ago, Brian said: Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Wind down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Wind up window. 7. Drive off. PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse back the required distance to align car window with cash machine. 3. Re-start the stalled engine. 4. Wind down the window. 5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 6. Turn the radio down. 7. Attempt to insert card into machine. 8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 9. Insert card. 10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned "Marks & Spencers" Charge card and insert correct Cash Point card 11. Remove Cash Point Card 12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up. 13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 14. Enter PIN. 15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN. 16. Enter amount of cash required. 17. Check make-up in rear view mirror. 18. Retrieve cash and receipt. 19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 20. Place receipt in back of cheque book. 21. Re-check make-up. 22. Drive forward 2 meters. 23. Reverse back to cash machine. 24. Retrieve card. 25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 26. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 28. Release hand brake. Brian you are in all sorts of trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 Ditto Mal I am in big trouble for belly laughing at the joke as I read it out to my wife word for word 😁😁 Mal Thomas and sparky 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gummage Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 My wife has got an HGV licence so it’s nota vein of humour I can readily mine in our house.😕 Jim 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarlach. Posted March 7, 2023 Report Share Posted March 7, 2023 I took a taxi!! Simples. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Jim 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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