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Buying A Computer...it's Confusing


Bob F
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Abbott and Costello in "Buying a computer"

 

 

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: Your computer?

 

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

 

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

 

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

 

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

 

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

 

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

 

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

 

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

 

ABBOTT: I just did.

 

COSTELLO: You just did what?

 

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

 

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: For my office?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

 

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

 

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

 

ABBOTT: Word.

 

COSTELLO:! What word?

 

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

 

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

 

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

 

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

 

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

 

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

 

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

 

ABBOTT: One copy.

 

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

 

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 

(A few days later)

 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

 

ABBOTT: Click on "START".......

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