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You all know ( Jack Schitt )


daviduk
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Who is Jack Schitt?

 

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

 

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

 

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

 

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer

magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N Schitt Ltd. They had

one son, Jack.

 

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple

produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt,

and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

 

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a University dropout.

 

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt

later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them,

she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt

Sherlock.

 

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son

with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

 

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

 

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens

nuptials.

 

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt,

the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from

Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

 

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

 

Don't thank me ... just buy me something.

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