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Brian last won the day on March 12

Brian had the most liked content!

About Brian

  • Rank
    Membership Secretary & Club Treasurer
  • Birthday 01/31/1948

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Upton, Poole
  • Interests
    Fishing, Shooting
  • Boat Name
  • MMSI

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Magic for Seniors

  2. Breaking News

    Breaking News: Downing Street release photo of first expelled Russian undercover agent leaving the country.
  3. Lazy old Tiddler

    They must get a brilliant shine, the police have to cover up the vehicles so they don't dazzle everyone.
  4. Walker's Crisps

    Sky News have just confirmed that the Leicester based company Walkers Crisps is to be taken over by a mega rich Arabian Consortium led by Sultan Sheikh.
  5. Her car wouldn't start

  6. Not sure how this works

  7. Government Contracts

    Three contractors are asked to bid to refurbish the fence at 10 Downing Street. One contractor is from Birmingham, another is from Liverpool, and the third is from London. All three meet with a civil servant in Downing Street. The Brummie contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures and says, "I figure the job will run about £900. £400 for materials, £400 for my crew, and £100 profit for me." The Scouse contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says. "I can do this job for £700. £300 for materials, £200 for my crew, and £200 profit for me." The bloke from London doesn't bother to do any measuring or calculations; he just leans over to the civil servant and whispers, "I'll do it for £2,700" The civil servant is understandably incredulous, and says, "You didn't even measure like the others ! How did you come up with such a high estimate ?" The London bloke whispers back, "£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Liverpool to do the job." "Done!" replies the civil servant. *Now do you see how Carillion went under, leaving the taxpayer with the bills ?*
  8. Warning

    Be CAREFUL This is for all of you 70 + year-olds, and those of us closing in on the "Golden Years". This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining area. An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast. When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him. A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts. I am sending this to my children so that they don’t sell the house before they know all the facts.
  9. Shopping in bad weather

  10. Rugby Tickets

    Rugby tickets England v Ireland March 17 St Patrick’s Day Twickenham This may be of interest to one of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for England v Ireland 17th Mar. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at Marylebone Registry Office, at 4.30pm. The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
  11. Change of Career

    A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting.†The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the exhaust !
  12. Letter to Putin

    Dear President Putin Save yourself billions of roubles, don't bother developing super-cruise missiles, send us two days of your winter weather and about 3" of snow, ............. it has much the same effect and paralyses the UK